Togetherness

For the last 2 weeks my house has been full - 5 extra people, 1 extra dog and lots of stuff. Three generations together! My oldest son and his family have had a 3 week gap between moving out of their old house and moving into their new house. So they are camping out with me.

As a social experiment this intergenerational living isn't bad. I've gotten to enjoy the unscripted moments with the grandchildren over the breakfast table; the whoops of delight when a video game goes well; the boundless energetic sword fights; a quiet conversation on the porch over popsicles.

There have been moments of frustration, consternation and anger, on all sides; but isn't that part of life? Messy at its best.

My son and daughter-in-law have made it their mission to make my life easy. They have climbed up to high cabinets to empty and clean, cooked some awesome meals, and arranged for a cleaning lady to keep the dust and dirt at an acceptable level. I feel loved and appreciated.

We have 4 more days before the big move out. They are ready for their own space, but they have been good housemates, and I will miss them even if it is only a 7 mile drive.

I plan to enjoy our last few days of extreme togetherness. Hooray for family!!!!

Travels with Dunbar Furniture

So how does it go? I'm moving along here. I have sorted through my dining room. Lots of STUFF!! But now it is organized and priced for the BIG SALE (sometime in October). I've posted the dining room furniture on Craig's List just to see if there is any interest.

mid century modern Dunbar table

What memories form around this dining room set. We purchased it second-hand in Syracuse, NY in early 70's for our very first house. It hosted our first dinner parties. We were part of a dining club where each couple would take turns planning and cooking a themed meal. I remember doing a French menu. With a newly purchased copy of Julia Child's "The French Chef Cookbook," and we were into some delicious food. (I still have that cookbook complete with food stains. Imagine it is 40+ years old.)

mid century modern upholstered side chair by Dunbar
 

Two kids, station wagon and all our worldly goods next traveled to Illinois, Naperville to be specific. Brr, didn't like the winters. Once a visitor's car actually froze to the driveway. But we endured 5 years. Our dining furniture hosted many spirited discussions as we made some lifelong friends. The table still bears faint fork marks from a wild cajun making his point. Yes, here we are years later still friends.

 

mid century modern upholstered end chair by Dunbar


 

Onto Wilmington, Delaware into a unique house in a unique community, Arden. Known as an artist's community we overlooked the green where dogs and kids romped. A too short sojourn close to family. and off to Houston.

mid century modern Dunbar credenza

For 5 years these chairs held friends and neighbors for large, frollicking holiday meals. Did I ever tell you about the time we forgot to turn on the oven to cook the turkey?  That happened to be the first year of the butterball hot line. Did you ever wonder who actually calls that? We did and their advice was wonderful!!

On to Geneva, Switzerland, to Atlanta, and finally the final spot here in Georgetown, Texas. This furniture has seen a lot, held some excellent food, and the wine, ooh-la-la. As I sift through my memories I see many special people. Strangers who have become family in all these places, who have shared our joys, who have supported us during troubles. I am reminded of the rich, vibrant life I have led.

I hope that the next family that owns this furniture has as much fun as we have had. On our island we will continue in the tradition of good food and visitors but without these beloved pieces.

A Pause

Monday, finds me with a full list of "to do's, " but my mind is on my son and his cat. A phone call tells me that Fyodor, the cat, has died. So what's the big deal, you ask? Fyo has been a part of my son's life for a long time, and, by extension, a part of our family.

In the wisdom that sometimes animals have he chose my son on a stormy day. Kind of a "look what followed me home" story. A miserable day in Baltimore this black cat is hiding from the rain and cold under my son's car as he comes out of his apartment to go to class. He runs away but remains in area until T returns. Wet, miserable, hungry he shows himself and follows T inside. A friendship begins. They lived together for 15 years, made at least 5 moves, got married and adopted a tiger-striped friend, Fiona. It has been a long life.

But he is only a cat, you say. Sure but like all good pets, he has offered unconditional love to my son. What a wonderful gift our pets give us. They are always so glad to see us. They bring us smiles with their antics. When life gives us challenges, they are there to cuddle and purr. They make us feel needed and important. So when they leave us, there is a void.

So this morning I salute Fyodor, the one eyed black cat who showed such wisdom 15 years ago to pick my son to be his owner. Way to go, Fyo!!!

A Left Turn

 

 

After my long break, since end of April, from this blog, I'm back but with some changes upcoming.

We, husband and I, are simplifying our life and responsibilities. We're getting rid of 95% of our belongings, everything except some clothes, one car and some kitchen stuff, and running away to the Bahamas.

How did we get to this stage? We discovered during our long drive to the East and back that we had reached the same point. We were tired of the responsibility of all our stuff. I think of it as the tyranny of STUFF. Our house and possessions have served us well. We've raised a family, seen the birth of grandchildren, celebrated family Christmases and Fourth of Julys,  but we want to pass the baton. Kids, you take over the traditions. We want to be free. Live where we won't be worried about upkeep. Where we can drop everything and go.

I will take a lot of my sewing room. After all Annarella Girl is my mental therapy. But I'm sure the sun, blue waters and gentle breezes will lead to some changes and only make it better.

So we begin the long, arduous task of sifting through it all. Finding new homes for our things. My faithful readers, you will probably have to endure some gnashing of teeth as every corner of every closet is pulled out to make the decision - go, sell, donate, give to children and grandchildren.

I'm excited. It's another adventure in a life that has given me so many wonderful experiences. So stayed tuned. I need your support and thoughts as I work through this.

Little Things Mean a Lot

It's over. The last light is gone. Goodbye to the glittery balls. So long to the cookies and candies. It will be a quick year, and then Christmas will be back.

Meanwhile I smile. As I use a new pencil, it is pink and says "...love is all you need,"  I remember opening our gifts. Unicorn farts make my lips feel soft. Black licorice calls my name. New slippers call me to dance. New shirts keep me warm while winter visits. New music cd's fill me with energy. Love, love, love it all!!!

To my family, you all did very well. You leave me smiling with memories.

(Don't know what is going on, but I can't insert an image. And I had several. Anyone else know what to do when the browse button is gone?)

Family Love

I am full...replete...gorged on family. Last Sunday at this time the husband and I were putting away groceries and supplies while awaiting families coming for the holidays. This Sunday saw an early morning drop off at the airport and saying goodbye. What a wonderful week it was. Despite some illness all the gifts got unwrapped, stockings opened, meals cooked and eaten, games played. We laughed as we formed new memories.

Now life slows down and turns toward normal. A new year will begin. I am fueled with love and wonder for this talented, hardworking, creative group who are my family!

'Tis the Season

Lucky me. For the next several days I have a variety of holiday programs to see. It's always a fun part of being a grandparent to see the holiday singing, dancing and acting. Those earnest shining faces are a joy.

First, "The Messiah" performed by Providence Classical School in Spring, Texas. Quite an undertaking for grades 1 - 6, but they are awesome. Then a choral celebration and nativity in the great outdoors by Life Point Church in Magnolia, Texas. Finally a Hanekka play at the Meridien School in Round Rock, Texas. Whew!

So this proud, happy Grammy takes off a few days to get in the spirit, applaud wildly, and dispense hugs!!

See you all in a couple of days.

Happy Hanekkah

Sending to Linda and her family a wish for a very happy hanekkah. (Never sure what the correct spelling is.)
Ours is a very eclectic family with many different philosophies and ethnicities. I think it makes for a very vibrant group. We don't always (never) agree on politics, religion or lifestyles, but we respect and love each other.
As varient as we are, there are some traits we share. A healthy sense of humor. Love of words. Respect for education. A thirst for knowledge. Voracious reading. These traits cut across our differences and bond us as a family.

So I send forth wishes for a Happy Hanekkah to Linda and her family. And in 2 weeks I know she will have a Christmas tree and share a Christmas meal with her community. (She's been known to invite her rabbi.) Hooray for differences!

Getting My Sparkle On

Thanks to the husband, son Jeff, granddaughter Ivy and two grandboys, Jack and Hudson, my living room is ready for Santa. It has become a family tradition for them to do the tree. Isn't that a great tradition? I love hearing the sounds of laughter, oohs and ahs as favorite ornaments are unearthed, and the occasional tinkle of breaking glass.

My family asks each year what I want for Christmas. My frequent reply is, "The hardest gift of all for busy people to give, time with you!" So this tree is a wonderful symbol of the gift of time. As far as I'm concerned, I've been given the best present of all. Thanks!

Excitement!!!

This will be a teaser post. My sister, who is a poet, has decided that she will compose some poetry using my blogs as a jumping off point. I'm honored and excited. We aren't sure what roads we will travel together but isn't that part of the thrill?

She sent me a poem, but before I post it I want to make sure she is okay with me unveiling her babies to the public. Here is my hope that she will let me put it in the spotlight because I know it will resonate with many of you.

Until tomorrow. I'm into the final part of a special order. I'm having to remake a skirt that I wasn't pleased with. So I'm racing back to my machine. This order will be finished tomorrow. (I almost wrote "should" but realized that I can't have any doubts. It WILL be done!)

Wishing and Thanks

Thanksgiving will be quiet here; children, spouses, and grandchildren are coming for Christmas. My Georgetown son and family have invited me for their feast, so my cooking chores are at a minimum. I'll be baking some brownies and 2 sides. I must admit I am thankful for not having the messy kitchen, but I will miss the rest of my family. I can't help looking forward to Christmas.

Speaking of which, maybe it is old age, but I really am missing my siblings lately. We are not a close family in geographic distance or communication. There is no reason for the lack of talking or writing, (othing as juicy as a family feud) just a habit. We grew up in a family that moved and was not often around extended family. I guess we got used to being insular. But I love, admire and respect my brothers and sisters. I find them to be interesting, thoughtful, humourous, and full of knowledge. I wish we interacted more often. When I'm with them or talking to them, I'm always left wanting more contact. I guess I'm very lucky to have such a great family.

I wish all of you a good Thanksgiving. Skip black Friday and shop small business Saturday.

A Little Holiday Spirit

The morning talk shows are talking about the new Neiman Marcus Christmas wish catelogue which is as always filled with over the top gift ideas. They feature some outlandish fantasy gifts. My wishes are not so exotic, nor are the gifts that I will be giving.

This year I'm trying to give as many handmade gifts as possible. I think of this as a "feed an artist" venture. So , family, don't give me your gift list as I'm going off the grid to get things you didn't know you wanted until now. I'm hoping you will be pleased with them and not hide them in a closet only to be brought out when I come to visit. Each item has been chosen with care and reflects my image of you. (I hope this is complementary. Does anyone remember the "Brady Bunch" episode when the crazy aunt visits and brings Jan a special present? Jan doesn't want to be like her crazy aunt and hates her gift. Am I the crazy relative?)

What I want - time spent with me. Morning conversation over cups of coffee. Hugs, warm strong hugs from my children and grandchildren. Cookies baked with love. Love all around. Now, these are my fantasy gifts!

Speaking of gifts. Here's my latest suggestion for a baby gift.

Calling Mom

Even though I am a lady into my "golden" years, every once in a while I have a day when I desparately want to call my mom. I want to pretend I am a child, and all the mishaps in my life can be cured with a kiss on my booboo. Yesterday was such a day.

Nothing big, mostly car problems, surrounded by the stress of helping the invalid return to full health. Cars baffle me. I don't really want to know much about them. I want to open the door, turn the key, and be on my way with radio going and cool air coming through the vents. Not going to happen today. Seems like along with no air conditioning, the car has a brake problem. Help, mom. Can you and daddy handle this? I feel very ignorant around mechanics, and they do tend to treat me as such. I had to resort to getting my son (Talk about someone who is having a lot of stress as he tries to balance job, family and care for helpless parents!!! Send him lots of hugs.) So anyway I had to get son on the phone so he could talk man to man with the repair man. Upshot of all car problems is that I have to get in the queu for a brake diagnosis. Probably for the ac, plenty of wishing for cool weather so we can handle that later.

Meantime I've had my moments of yearning to have my Mommy take over and handle my problems. Now it's back to adulthood and reality. We'll all get through this, including you, my faithful readers, who have had to listn to alot of whining lately.

Liberation!

Finally, the day is nigh. Friday is freedom day. The last trip to the rehabilitation hospital. Home comes the patient along with the walker, flex machine, tiny little "bike," and extraneous other equipment. It well be a carful, but a trip eagerly anticipated. Husband is really doing well. Hooray!

As caretaker I will appreciate not making the once or twice a day 30 minute trip to see him. The dog will appreciate not having to spend so many hours alone. My credit card will appreciate fewer stops at the gas pumps. So it is freedom for both of us.

We have  learned from this experience - too much about our medical systems. Medical care could be/should be better. But we are thankful for the caring and considerate aides and therapists who have been kind and careful to explain what is going on. and who have spent time with the patient. Good for them!!!

Thanks to all who have phoned, emailed, etc. to support. We couldn't have done it without you.

Happy Birthday

Two of my favorite women have back to back birthdays - August 30 and 31. My daughter, Jen, made her debut after a lot of hard work and has brought endless joy to my life ever since. Then there is my older sister, Linda, who has always been my role model. Great ladies, both. They are smart, talented and beautiful. I think my lucky stars that they are a part of my life.

Family is a blessing.

By the way, rehab is back on track. Hooray!

Knee Rehab: Ups and Downs

The road to recovery is not smooth. Infection has reared its ugly head which slows the rehab process. We are hopeful that with the introduction of antibiotics this stumble will be short.

This medical problem has emphasized a bigger and more endemic problem - communication. As in the famous quote from "Cool Hand Luke." What we have here is a failure to communicate. Husband has a prodigious capacity to endure pain. The nursing staff didn't take this in to consideration and ignored his statements of increased discomfort. Plus he doesn't register fever as the "normal" person does. So those two facts together created a situation that was more complex than necessary.

I can't fault the overworked staff too much. They don't know each patient as an individual. To them he is a knee replacement. They are not encouraged to take the time even if they want to. Time is money for the corporation that runs the show. Frequently the personel give the quick, convenient response just to get out of the room. So complaints are ignored. As aides, nurses, therapists and doctors are urged to see more patients in less time, sometimes good care gets compromised. I think that this is one of the primary problems with a big business approach to medical services _ good communication between all the parties involved from patient with family to all staff.

Is there a solution to the problem of communication? There should be a patient advocate who is part of the admittance process. Someone who's job is to take the time to learn patient and family - the  history and dynamics; expectations and experiences. Then they can advise those who are involved in patient care what they are dealing with. Is this a negative, complaining person? Or a docile patient? Does this family need a constant stream of what's going on? Or are they content with little interaction?

Seems like someone is missing a huge business opportunity. If this is the way medicine is "advancing," someone should create a questionaire for a social worker or patient advocate to administer on admittance. This professional must then be able to interpret and condense the information gathered into a form that the medical staff can read and use when interacting with the patient. Information delivered in clear, concise language so as to be actually useful. Someone smarter than I could write a good program for this. Wouldn't this lead to more efficient care? A better experience for patient and staff? Even better care which leads to shorter, less expensive medicine.

Okay, packing up my soap box for the day. I feel better for getting it off my chest. Thanks for listening.

Back to Work

Happily I'm able to spend more time in my sewing room. I'm finishing up a sundress, size 2, which will be in "Little Loft" unless someone snatches it up first. As you can see in pic, I'm trying to decide between blue ribbon or black. I'm letting my mind percolate on the choices for a bit.

Next I have an order for 2 dresses for sisters in Boston area. Mom wants them to be similar but not the same. I enjoy this challenge - any excuse to play with color and fabric. Happy me!!

Finally I have another design challenge. I've been talking to someone who wants a Halloween dress for her daughter. Although I've always thought I was a colorful designer, this mom wants BOLD and BRIGHT. I'm not sure I can do this project justice in her eyes. So I'm deciding how much to compromise my style. Sounds like a dilemma on Project Runway. I'm channeling Michael Kors when he counsels contestants to not desert totally their aesthetics for the wants of their clients. Sometimes the designer does know best. It is a matter of having a dress go out into the world with my name on it. I have to be proud of what I produce. I am limited by my eye and passion.  In my heart I feel that another maker would make this customer happier than I can. Stay tuned for solution. I'm taking the time to make the best decision for both customer and me.

Rehab for husband continues. There are some frustrations. Doctor missing in action, so our questions are piling up. My sister tells me that I'm talking about food in every post, but I must mention it again. For 2 nights in a row I've been delivering meals, and 2 mornings in a row coffee. I'm beginning to think we might be better off at home. Is this a sign that he is getting better that we are complaining more?

Have a great day!! I'm off to start cutting out for the 2 girls in Boston.

The Week of the Knee Replacement: Rehab

Friday, husband made the move to a rehabilitation hospital. It was exhausting and painful. New digs are bright, staff is caring, but food is bad. In the name of being healthy it is flavorless. There are few choices. Looks like we'll be taking in some meals. I can't believe it is possible, but they've made my cooking look good.

We don't know how long he will be there. Hopefully not too many days. He needs to be able to get up and down without aid, get dressed with minimal help, and take care of fundamental needs. Hubs is looking forward to reaching these goals.

I'm back in the sewing room for a few hours a day. There have been some inquiries about special orders that I want to get started on. Plus I need to finish off a few new things for "Little Loft." Business is good right now. My creative urges are itching and need scratching.

Updates on rehab will be less frequent now. We've survived the first days; now there is the unglamorous hard work ahead. Lots of little steps to mobility and freedom.

Good Sunday.

Week of the Knee Replacement: Dismissal

Friday is here. Yesterday was spent getting wires and machines removed in preparation for release. We still await a decision on what today brings. Will he come home? Or go to a rehab facility? One sure thing, this hospital is done with him.

There are pros and cons for each option. At home he gets to be surrounded by familiar things, but he has to leave his hospital bed behind. At rehab he gets more intensive therapy, but he must eat hospital type food. At home he has one feeble caretaker to help him around; at rehab he has strong arms and backs to teach him how to take care of himself. Pros and cons! We await a decision and are prepared to deal with either option.

Husband has been a good patient. He is doing everything he is asked and enduring the discomfort stoically. The goals of getting better, walking, bending and flexing are never far from his mind. Thanks to all who have called. He has enjoyed the conversations and laughs. You've made the time pass more quickly.

Until tomorrow -  wherever we are.

Week of the Knee Replacement: Questions

Why do all the support team - physical therapists, occupational therapists, social workers and nurses tell important information to a patient riding high on drugs and expect them to remember it? (I would include the surgeon, but he is not very visible himself.)

And the companion question. Do above mentioned professionals have a surveillance system which alerts them when the patient's coherent future caregiver leaves the building so they can swoop in to impart important information? 

Just asking.

Husband continues to make progress - short walks, sitting in chair, knee on flex machine. He was a bit cranky yesterday. Is that a sign he is improving? Or a sympton of withdrawal from "Mike and Mike in the Morning?"

Talk again soon.