Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Pity Me Not

Blow out the candles! Throw away the moisemakers! No more silly hats! That's right, the pity party is over.

After my last whining post I spent some time cruising the blog world which made me realize how boring I had become. So I declare a new outlook. My world is filled with good things, and I will look at those. While I sew, I will concentrate on positives. I will watch less mind-numbing TV and listen to more music. (I know my mood will improve if I'm not constantly exposed to those negative, lying political ads. How depressing to be constantly reminded of the state of our political choices.) Its amazing how powerful the mind is once it is made up! My world is looking better already.

Enough dribble for now. Have a great Tuesday. Tell me what you do to break out of the doldrums. Inspire me.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Sometimes Life Gets in the Way

Yes, I'm still struggling. Just when I think I'm getting back on track, here comes life to throw some challenge my way. Occasionally a challenge is an unexpected opportunity or just a change in my routine, but rarely does my day end the way I have envisioned it when lying in bed in the morning. So I'm not keeping to a production schedule or working on inventory. Instead I'm indulging in mindless TV watching or endless games of text twist on the computer.

How are all the rest of you out there doing? Is anyone being productive or very creative? Or are we all spinning wheels? Pass along your words of wisdom to me. Meanwhile tomorrow is another day!!!

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Thoughts on Life and Death

What a heavy title, but I find myself grappling with heavy thoughts now that I'm home after 2 weeks of a deathwatch. My mother-in-law, Ethel Vifginia Curtis Skross, passed quietly away last Friday. She defied all medical predictions and lived 2 weeks longer than anyone thought she could. It gave her children and their spouses lots of time to say goodbye.

She was part of my life for almost 50 years. Now she's gone. There is always a time of disconnect. It's like a bruise, You can ignore the ache for periods, but then you bump into a reminder and the hurt throbs. I can't quite wrap my head around the fact that she won't be sitting in her chair the next time I journey to my sister-in-law's home.

The last 2 weeks have taught me that the act of dying is much like having a baby - each body has its own time frame. My mother-in-law was a strong woman. Her body was reluctant to stop functioning. On the one hand we all wished her peace, but we all were thankful for the extra days to say goodbye. We're left with some good memories of shared times. I like to think that she heard the reminiscing and expressions of love.

Now I'm back to my life here. Thinking about my life. Wondering how well I'm living. Am I using what she taught me? Would she be proud of me?

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Grace and Dignity

As a culture we Americans have so much to learn about dying and death, but luckily the health care systems seems to be learning how to treat the dying person with dignity and helping the family make some decisions with grace. My mother-in-law is beginning her final phase, and the nursing home where she is living seems dedicated to making her comfortable along with making us comfortable. Hospice care has been called in to treat us all. And overall the level of care for us is excellent. Her doctor has spent lots of time making sure that each decision made is right for our family. I feel cradled by all this support.

I know Mom is being made to feel as comfortable as possible. She is doing a lot of peaceful sleeping. This is the way we all want to approach death - softly, painlessly. Nothing can totally erase the sting of death for the survivors but knowing that the suffering is minimized certainly helps. When my time comes, I hope I have a caring team like this to help me leave with grace and dignity.

Friday, October 1, 2010

A Little Bit More of Fall

I'm taking off again. Going to the soggy East to see my mother-in-law who is ill. I probably won't be blogging. But I leave you wth some colorful pics Carrie Ellen has posted on her site. They are beautiful!

For another view of autumn stop by Susan's blog for a pic of nature's fall bounty. Pumpkins make me smile.

Finally go to Brene Brown' s blog for inspiration on imperfection. She talks about how much time nd energy we waste on being perfect or trying to show only our perfect side to the world. I, for one, am very guilty of that. Instead we need to embrace each other's imperfections, move on and use that energy for good. This takes some courage - to acknowledge my flaws - but can be so worth it. And what a gift for my daughter or granddaughter to show I'm not afraid of or governed by my flaws. While I always strive to be better than my flaws, I want them to know that my fear will not stop me from living, starting a newbusiness or being me. I AM IMPERFECT!!
PS. New romper aize 18-24 months.