Or things I swore I'd never say.
1. Don't run with the scissors, you will fall and put out your eye. Have you ever met someone who actually put his/her eye out? Neither have I. Despite my mom warning me and my siblings, we ran and survived. Also, the boys who owned bb guns did not shoot out an eye. We did dumb things despite our moms' warnings. And I have to smile when I watch my grandkids do dumb things which require their parens to issue dire warnings.
2. Eat that, there are kids starving in China/Africa (pick famine ravaged ountry of your choice.) This really didn't make sense when my mom said it. Still doesn't but for some reason it is repeated at many a dinner table. Usually relates to anything green, leafy or healthy. Did you ever hear it over a cookie or cupcake?
3. You are not leaving the house looking like that! Teen thinks, "The older generation just doesn't understand fashion. What if I said that when you were ready to leave for the grocery store or mall in those dorky Mom jeans and Keds. I just spent 45 minutes on make-up and my outfit. I'm styling and sexy. When I have teenagers I'll respect them to enough to let them wear what is current while they try to look 21 years old!!!! At least 5 years older so the cool guys try to pick them up." EXACTLY what your parents are trying to avoid.
4. If a friend jumped off a bridge would you do it too? Classic parentese for, think for yourself. Don't be a follower, be a leader. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know your kid is thinking that life was different when you were growing up. Temptations were different when you were growing up. You were not cool, wouldn't know cool if it happened, so on and so forth.
And the biggest of all
5. because I said so. We all swore we would never say this, and yet after laying out every logical arguement when protests continue, you open your mouth and out it comes. Don't you want to run to the closest mirror to make sure your Mom is not starng back at you?
What are some of your favorite Momisms?