Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Anxiety Reigns

Or maybe that is anxiety rains. I've just been cruising along. Sorting out closets, cleaning drawers, searching into the darkest reaches of cabinets. I'm not breaking any speed records but just trying to keep moving forward in the great "GET RID OF IT ALL" project.

Screech!!! That's the sound of brakes locking up. Wide awake at night wondering - who's gonna buy or take all this stuff?, how can I get all this sorted?, what do I do about Annarella Girl?, why did I think changing my life so drastically was a good idea?. (Even as I write this I can feel my heart pounding.) In short, what were we thinking??????

So welcome to my anxiety week. You might want to tune out at this point unless you enjoy a good whine!

I'm frightened by the sheer volume of the stuff we own. Furniture - antiques, vintage, and modern; art - oils, prints, pastels, contemporary and varied; china - fine, everyday and in-between; pottery - vases, plates, cups; silver - serving pieces, bud vases, sterling, silverplate, cutlery; linens - tablecloths, runners, towels good for rags; kitchen wares - small appliances, utensils, baking tools, casseroles, bowls, knives; tools - lawn and garden stuff, hand tools, screwdrivers, assorted nails and screws; glasses - some crystal, water, wine and cordial; and more craft supplies, books, cds, lamps, miscellaneous office tools. And all this is just a sampling of what we have. How am I going to find homes for all? 

There is some good stuff which should not be thrown out. My dream is that someone will enjoy and treasure the art as we have. Some of the furniture is worthy of a good home where it will be treated with care. Some of the furniture will be good for a student apartment or house. I live in a small community which probably doesn't have enough homes for everything. That is the reality. So some things will probably wind up at a Goodwill or even a dump.

Today I concentrate on putting one foot in front of another in hopes that baby steps forward will eventually leave anxiety far behind and the end goal in clear sight. My heart says that change is good even when scary. On pinterest I'm collecting pictures of beaches and oceans to remind me of what I can anticipate.

Heart racing, palms sweating, hot flashing, teeth grinding I leave you and go tackle another cabinet.

1 comment:

susan said...

just the storm before the calm. and peaceful sunsets. and warm sandy beaches. and happily ever afters.